When Life Leaves You Speechless November 12, 2009

No matter how optimistic you are, whether by nature or personal discipline, there will be seasons in life when the hardships of this world attack and take their toll. Ultimately, they will not defeat you; but when you are under the pressure, you will wonder if you are going to make it through.

This is a time in my life when many of the people I adore are experiencing unspeakable pain. I struggle to find words of comfort. If I was only concerned about my reputation, I could probably give them some cliché advice, pat them on the back, and send them on their way: but these are people I love. I feel their pain and have no desire to sugar-coat reality. Words lack the power to produce the needed change, so I pray to the One who loves them so much that He gently cradles their hearts in one hand and fights for their protection with the other.

Psalm 142 records David’s feelings as he faced a lousy season of his life. He was hiding in a cave. I imagine he wondered how life had come to this. What had he done to deserve this? Was it his fault that God chose him to be king? He didn’t ask for that. When King Saul was tormented by evil spirits, didn’t he willingly play the harp to soothe Saul? What more could he have done? When the Philistines and Goliath threatened Israel, didn’t he step up to the challenge? Didn’t he put his life on the line over and over again when he led Saul’s military campaigns? Yet after all of that, Saul’s response to him was one of ingratitude, jealousy and anger. David found himself on the run like a criminal even though he hadn’t done anything wrong.

“I cry aloud to the Lord;

I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy.

I pour out my complaint before him;

Before him I tell my troubles.

When my spirit grows faint within me,

It is you who know my way.

In the path where I walk life has hidden a snare for me.

Look to my right and see;

No one is concerned for me.

I have no refuge;

No one cares for my life.”

When life overwhelms us, we feel weak and empty. We feel alone, like no one has our back. We feel vulnerable. We desperately look around for someone who fully understands, but no one does. And when we come to our last drop of hope, we cry out to the Lord:

“YOU are my refuge,

my portion in the land of the living.

Listen to my cry,

For I am in desperate need;

Rescue me from this circumstance,

For it is too strong for me.

Set me free from my prison,

That I may praise your name.”

If you are struggling today, I pray that the Holy Spirit will convince you in the depth of your soul that God is your refuge, your sanctuary, your haven. He is the safe place to go for help, protection, and relief. He is your hope. And…He truly loves you so much that He is gently cradling your heart in one hand and fighting for your protection with the other.

Oops! October 28, 2009

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry” (James 1:19). I love that verse, but I can’t even count the number of times I have forgotten it right when I needed it the most. Life moves quickly and many times we succumb to a knee-jerk reaction instead of slowing down, taking a breath, and listening to the counsel of the Holy Spirit.

 

Usually God teaches me through my own foolish mistakes, but this time He allowed me to learn through observation. And it was quite a lesson.

 

I was on an elliptical machine and across from me was one of the gym’s regulars. He had completed his warm up phase and was into the challenging part of the bike’s program when the gym manager came over and told him that he signed up for the wrong bike and would have to move. The man was not happy and I understood why. Changing bikes meant starting the program all over again. Not to mention, there were other bikes available.

 

He asked the manager if she was serious. She reiterated that he would need to change bikes and should be more careful next time. Her response made his ears purple. He reminded me of my 22 month old nephew who puts his hands on his head and says, “OH NO!!!” right before he loses his temper. This man was ready to blow! But with a controlled strained tone, he said, “I could’ve made this an issue 10 minutes ago.”

 

He was referring to fact that the bike he signed up for was still occupied when it was time for him to begin. But instead of making a big deal over it, he simply slipped onto another available bike (but didn’t make the change on the sign-up board). He was just trying to be a nice guy.

 

To his credit he chose not to argue about it. He recorded his stats in his notebook and moved to the bike he originally signed up for. His frustration was obvious and I sensed that his attitude was going to be negatively affected for the rest of the morning.

 

At that point a slightly retarded girl, probably in her twenties, came bouncing toward the bike. Her eyes were twinkling and the joy on her face indicated that she had no idea of what just took place. She sat down on her bike, smiled at the man working out in front of her and with a sweet melodic voice said, “Hi, how are you? How long have you been doing this?” When the man said twenty years, she responded with a “wow” that was so enthusiastic it should provide enough encouragement for him to continue working out for the next 20 years!

 

Now it all made sense. “The culprit” had followed the directions exactly as she was taught. She put her initials in a blank box, but when she looked at the bike and saw someone on it, she was confused and innocently asked the gym manager for help.

 

How many times do we react too quickly? How many times do we default to anger based on assumptions? How much emotional energy and embarrassment could we save ourselves if we would slow down and try to understand all the facts before we react?

 

Once again, God gently reminded me of the importance of following James’ wise counsel…especially if I want to represent Christ well.

Forever Friend October 21, 2009

The older I get, the more I value my true friends. The ones who know me, the real me, the person I am when no one is looking. We live in a world of quick fixes, instant gratification, and frantic activity, but that is not conducive to creating deep and authentic relationships. Genuine friendships take time. Shared history is what knits our hearts. We must do life together.

 

A dear friend of mine just moved away to another state. I am rejoicing that God has ushered her into a new season, but I am grieving what feels like the loss of a friend. For years I met with my Dunkin’ Donuts Buddy and we “encouraged one another and built each other up.” We would share our joys and our sorrows, our hopes and disappointments, our victories and personal ugly moments. We stretched our minds as we discussed theology, ministry, family life, and what God was teaching us through His Word. We challenged each other to take the next step in becoming more like Christ. I will miss that. I already do.

 

Our mode of relating to each other will have to change. I hope the weapon of modern technology will be strong enough to defeat the enemy of Distance. The realist in me, however, knows the internet can never replace a face-to-face conversation. We will question whether the weekly details and insights are really that important and we will hesitate to share through the typed word. Reality is it’s hard to “do real life” with someone in cyberspace.  Accountable friendships tend to need proximity for maximum effectiveness.

 

I’m sad. My heart is lonely. Yet I know that it’s okay. It’s part of life. I will chose to use this as an opportunity to remind myself how blessed I am to have a friend who always sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). I am grateful for Jesus. He is my most faithful, loving, and wise friend. He knows everything about me and still promises to never leave me or forsake me. He cares about every detail of my life…none of it bores him. He is not afraid to confront me when I’m wrong or to challenge me if I’ve grown too complacent. He rejoices with me when life is good and compassionately listens when life is hard. He is committed to doing life with me and being my forever friend. This allows me to hold friendships on earth loosely and to celebrate them for all they are.

“A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.”  (I can’t remember where I got this quote, but when I find it I will credit the author).

Too Grand For Coincidence October 14, 2009

Some things in life are just too grand to give “coincidence” the credit. And this particular happening has God written all over it!

 

I woke up one Saturday last March with an idea. I sat up in bed and the words tumbled out of mouth. “I think we should downsize in order to help the kids with college.” Poor Rex! What a way to start the day. But after 19 years of marriage he’s accustomed to my wild brainstorms. He patiently listened and replied that he thought the idea was worth exploring, but two criteria would have to be met to make it work. We would need to save enough money to make it worth giving up our home (basically cut our expenses in half) and it needed to be within fifteen minutes of the church. Both of those contingencies would be difficult to achieve. But nothing is impossible with God….

 

One night, my son Chase and I decided to drive by a couple homes that we thought might be possibilities. Most of what we saw left us shaking our heads. As we pulled away from the last house on our list, we felt discouraged. The neighborhood was adorable, but the house looked like it needed too much work. Then it happened.

 

As we drove down the street, we saw a man walking his dog. I pulled to the side of the road. Chase rolled down his window and asked, “Hey, do you live in this neighborhood?” That was the beginning of a conversation that led to a story that will forever make us smile!

 

Mark, the man walking his dog, told us his neighbors were going to sell their house but they weren’t planning on putting it on the market until May. Chase and I drove by the house. It was an adorable brick cape cod with a curved front door and I fell in love.

 

Fast forward two months….

 

Jenn and Seth, the owners of the cape cod, were ready to sell. After hearing what they were looking for, I told them it was too bad they didn’t want to live in our town because it sounded like our house was exactly what they were looking for. They decided to look at our home and the next morning, they made us an offer.

 

Yes, it is true! Neither yard ever sported a real estate sign. And two families, who did not know each other, swapped houses.

 

In one of the worst housing markets ever, God orchestrated what some would call a long shot. I’m partial to calling it a miracle.

Thoughts About Home June 11, 2009

For Rex’s mother, home was the farm on Keener Road. It was the place she and her husband purchased when they were first married. Tree by tree and rock by rock, the land was cleared for farming. They did all the work themselves. At the end of the day, they would return to their little timber house exhausted and ready to rest.

It was in that home that she raised her 7 children. Many of them were born right on the farm. Rex will tell you that every inch of that land holds a memory. From the woods where they hunted and the pond where they fished to the fields where they spent countless hours picking cotton by hand. Their home was simple. It didn’t have any of the modern conveniences that we consider to be necessities. For example, Eunice spent hours outside washing clothes by hand, even during the ice cold days of winter. It wasn’t until her mid-eighties that she began to use a dryer!

Life was not easy on the farm, but it was home. This past year Eunice’s health deteriorated and necessitated an extended stay in the nursing home. Although the staff was wonderful and family visited frequently, Eunice wanted to spend her last days on earth at home. The doctor mentioned the possibility of going home by a specific date. Although there was no chance that she would be able to take care of herself, her children knew their mom’s desire and were willing to do whatever it took to allow her to return to her beloved homestead.

The date the doctor had mentioned arrived. Olene, Rex’s oldest sister who had become like a mother to her mother, went to the nursing home. She shared with me that her mother knew exactly what day it was. She was probably secretively counting down the days! When Olene walked into the room, she smiled at her mom. And Eunice lit up and smiled back. Then she started yelling, “I’m going home! I’m going home!”

Eunice got her wish. She was able to go home. And on April 24^th she breathed in her final breath of the fresh Keener country air.

That, however, is definitely not my final image of Eunice Keener. I had plenty of conversations with her to know that her life has only begun. There is NO question in my mind that 99.9999% of her life will be spent in Eternity. The thrill of going home to the farm, therefore, did not even compare to the joy she experienced when she stepped through the door of Heaven and heard her Savior say, “Welcome home!” I know she was jumping and shouting with inexpressible joy, “I’m home! I’m really home!”

“I tell you truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me

has eternal life and will not be condemned;

he has crossed over from death to life.”

John 5:24

Move My Mountain March 24, 2009

There is always something in my life that I want to change. Can you relate?

If you could add anything to your life, what would it be?

If you could take away something from your life, what would it be?

Like you, I am convinced that this addition or subtraction would greatly improve my existence here on earth. So I try to change the circumstance. The problem is some things are simply beyond my ability to change them. And no matter how many times I stubbornly repeat, “I think I can…I think I can,” I can’t. It’s like I’m trying to uproot a hundred year old oak tree by kicking it with my foot. It just isn’t going to work. And truthfully if it was that easy to change, I would have already changed it.

A couple summers ago, our family took on a project that required us to move 40 tons of rock! Thankfully, most of the rocks were only the size of a large grapefruit. The work was exhausting, but do-able because the rocks were small. If the rocks, however, were boulders we would not have been able to move them. We could not build enough mental or emotional muscle, in a lifetime of effort, to pick up that kind of weight.

So what are we to do when we can’t lift the burden that is causing us pain?

Ahh…that’s when we reflect on the character of God. The fact is with one breath God can uproot any tree…and with a push of his pinky, He can move a mountain of stone! Spend some time intentionally contemplating the power of God. Your soul will be encouraged and filled with awe and reverence toward Him.

Understanding God’s power produces peace. It’s comforting to know that you are loved by a God who is able. Nothing is impossible for Him. So when you face burdens that overwhelm you, remember you are a child of an All-Powerful Father. And this daddy loves it when you ask for help.

Is it time to change your tactic? Is your foot starting to hurt?

Are You Caught in the Current? February 5, 2009

We watched as the people floated on their backs. They all moved in synch. The strong current pulled them down the river. The movement of the masses was so uniform it was almost undetectable. But as your eyes fixed on a stationary object on the riverbank, you noticed how quickly the people were being swept down the river. Everyone was expected to join in. It was the popular thing to do.

That may be a picture of life for many of us. We jump in with both feet, look around to see what everyone else is doing, and join in. And before we know it, the popular, cultural currents begin to sweep us down the river of life.

At first, simply floating along is a lot of fun. We enjoy the affirmation of our care-free companions who confidently convince us that “This is the Life!“

But eventually you begin to cramp and you realize the current is intensifying. You suspicion that you are in trouble. You struggle to stay calm, yet your emotions fluctuate between anxiety and anger. No one ever explained there would be long-term consequences for going with the flow! Why didn’t they mention the exhaustion, the frigid waters of night, and the reality that so-called friends wouldn’t think twice of pulling you under if it meant keeping their heads above water?

Naturally you begin to evaluate life. What am I doing? What’s the point of expending all this energy? Is it getting me anywhere? Where are all these people headed? Where am I headed?

Then you remember a Rock you passed along the way. It was solid. It was firm. It wasn’t at the mercy of the passing currents. It was strong. It was peaceful. You knew you needed to get back to the Rock. So you placed your feet on the river bottom and began to walk upstream. It wasn’t easy. With every step you felt the mighty pull of the popular current. You saw the cynical looks. You heard the mocking, sarcastic comments. You prayed for strength and kept focused on the Rock.

Almost magically, you sensed a rope fastening around your waist. Slowly, safely, gently the rope guided you to the Rock like a fisherman reeling in his prized fish, unwilling to let it go. You found yourself standing on the Rock looking around. You were used to seeing only above you, so you were surprised at the 360 degree panorama. Instead of seeing only the color of the sky, now your eyes were taking in a rainbow of colors, shapes, and textures. For so long, your ears were filled with water and you were unable to hear anything else. Now the soft song of creation and the whispers of the Holy Spirit echo in your ears. Your heart finally slowed to a healthy rhythm. Peace, joy, security, and love flooded your soul.

One day, you looked around and saw the uniform movement of the masses…downstream, headed for destruction. You remembered how it felt to be caught in the current and decided to offer your help. Since then you have spent your days lying on the Rock, extending your arm to all in need. Some quickly grab your hand and you are able to help pull them to safety. You can see in the eyes of others the desire to be saved, but they’re unable to stand up against the current. So you jump back into the waters, tethered to the Rock, and you go to them.

After one rescue mission, the light went on…everything clicked and you realized:

“THIS is really the life I’ve always longed for.”

“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;

he set my feet on a rock and gave me

a firm place to stand.”

Psalm 40:1-2

The Power of a Story January 28, 2009

Stories are powerful. They allow us to dream, to imagine possibilities. They provide comfort as we realize that we’re not alone in our thoughts and experiences. Our temptation is to believe that no one will understand what we are going through, but stories demonstrate that life is full of classic themes. Truth is others share and understand our reality, whether good or bad. We laugh, cry, smile, or sigh because our hearts resonate with the familiar triumphs and joys, trials and trauma.  Some stories simply entertain, while other stories have the capacity to inspire.

After God dramatically delivered the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt, they had a story to tell. So when Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, came to see him in the desert, Moses, like a child tugging at his mother’s sleeve, couldn’t wait to tell the story of what God had done.

Moses and Jethro greeted each other and then Moses invited Jethro into his tent for a refreshing glass of bottled Horeb Rock Water. As they reclined, “Moses told his father-in-law EVERYTHING (he definitely surpassed his male quota of words that day!) the Lord had done to Pharaoh and the Egyptians for Israel’s sake and about all the hardships they had met along the way and how the Lord had saved them” (Exodus 18:8). Jethro was delighted to hear the story (Exodus 18:9), even though it was not his first time. Exodus 18:1 makes it clear that he had already heard all the details of the story. But there are some stories that are so good that they never grow old. It’s like your favorite movie or book that gets better over time. It produces an emotion in you. Moses’ story inspired Jethro. It reminded him of God’s goodness, of God’s greatness, of God’s love for His people…and his natural response was to worship the Almighty.

God is constantly at work in our lives. Sometimes His actions are obvious and dramatic. For example, when He allows us to escape from that bondage that has kept us enslaved for years. Other times, however, His actions are quiet and consistent. Our daily lives are filled with stories of God’s faithfulness. Why not take the time to invite someone into your home, to sit over a cup of coffee, and share a God story? You never know, like Jethro, they may be delighted to hear what God has been up to and they may worship God all the way home!

Stories are powerful.

God uses them to change lives.

Reality TV January 18, 2009

I still can’t believe it! I was always the one who said you would have to be crazy to be a part of any reality TV program. So what was I doing with lights and cameras in my house last week?! The answer: God will use all circumstances to teach us what He wants us to learn. And when planning how to teach me this lesson, I think God was chuckling! I do believe He has a terrific sense of humor!

Through an amazing “serendipity,” our daughter was invited to work with the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. They asked if she would be interested in being featured in a 30 minute reality TV program. After her proud Dad’s feet were planted back on the ground, we all agreed that this was a spectacular opportunity. I called the producer and shared that Allee was honored and would love to work with them on this project.  I hung up the phone and it suddenly hit me…I had just agreed to be one of those crazy people that allows the nation into the reality of their lives! That was an intense moment!

Reality means: a strong possibility that Debbie will put her foot in her mouth. As an extrovert, who processes out loud, there is a high degree of probability that I will say something that I’ll be embarrassed by later! And with reality TV, there are no “do-overs”; no “oops, I didn’t mean to say that.” But even worse than that…they wanted to start right away which meant no crash diets; no sudden weight loss…just reality!!!

My initial thought was, “there is no way this is going to come even close to resembling reality. I will have my makeup on by 8:00 am…no sweats….a completely stocked pantry with all necessary staples to prepare the pre-planned meal.” No pressure. All smiles. Basically a non-realistic view of reality! I liked that plan. It felt safe.

Then it came time to film and I realized that I’m not one to fake it…plus I’m a horrible actress. I am who I am. With that said, I never want to become complacent. I never want to settle. I always want to cooperate with God’s transforming work within me. I definitely know that I’m not perfect and I don’t try to pretend to be, so why did I feel the need to hide who I currently am? Why was shame playing with my emotions?

The truth is I am not ashamed of my reality. On the contrary, I am pleased with my life. I love Jesus Christ with all my heart. My relationship with Him is healthy and growing. I love my husband. We are best friends. We have a strong and happy marriage. I love my children. They are healthy and bright. I am proud of their character. I am thrilled they love Jesus and are living for Him. I love my extended family. I am trying to live my priorities. My reality is not perfect. For example, Buddy humped the camera man! But my reality is a good reality. It’s a work in progress.

Yes, there’s a chance I may look like a fool. And it’s true that inviting cameras into your private home feels vulnerable. But if I am truly living for an Audience of One, why should I fear the judgment of the viewing audience?

I live before God’s reality camera every moment of my life. He knows me completely. He knows when I sit and when I rise. He perceives my thoughts from afar. He discerns my going out and my lying down. He is familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, he knows it completely (Psalm 139). He sees everything about me and yet He still loves me. As long as I hear His applause, I can handle the jeers of this world.

Lights, camera, action….bring it on! I’m ready to show the world what it looks like to be an imperfect person perfectly loved by a perfect God.

My 2009 Goal January 1, 2009

Another year…another fresh start…

The door of 2008 has closed behind us and we stand on the front porch looking out over a wide open space. Each of us has been given a gift of 365 days to create and execute this new journey. How will you respond to your new opportunity?

Some people struggle to get off the porch. Instead of stepping out into new territory, they press their noses to the window and look back focusing on the past. Are you fixated on hurtful and painful memories? Do you stare longingly at the “good old days?” Do you sit down in protest refusing to change or grow? Does the fear of the unknown paralyze you? God knows the plans He has for you. He is ready to give you a hope and a future. He’s doing a new thing. Do you not perceive it? Trust Him. He can make way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. He wants to complete the good work He began in you. But He is waiting for you to take the next step. If you don’t, you will find yourself sitting on the same porch in the same position 365 days from now.

Others jump off the porch and start running wildly. Instead of slowing down and asking where they are headed, they simply run. Many of their friends are doing it, so they join in. Do you find yourself out of breath? Are you exhausted by the pace of life? Are you pursuing things that will last? Maybe you are fast and have outrun those around you. Now you find yourself running alone. Are you lonely? Are you driven to accumulate possessions and accomplishments? Are you longing to impress? God says that boasting of what you have and do comes from the world’s philosophy, but doesn’t line up with His. His yoke is easy. His burden is light. The world and its desires pass away, so why run so hard after them. If you do, eventually you realize that you have been running in circles and are right back to where you began; making no true progress.

My desire this year is to step off the porch and walk with a determined cadence to the voice of my Savior. I don’t know exactly where that will lead me. And that’s okay. I will delight in being in the presence of my Father. Whether I turn to the right or the left, I will listen for His voice telling me, “This is the way; walk in it.” When I face obstacles, roadblocks, storms along the way…when I am afraid, I will trust in Him, in God whose word I praise. In God I trust; I will not be afraid. The rain will fall on both the just and the unjust. Every day will not be sunny. But when the skies are a brilliant blue and the sun is hugging me with its warmth, I will smile and rejoice. I will slow down and express the fullness of my gratitude to my amazingly creative God. I will take time to sit by the still waters and I will canon-ball, like a child, into lakes of refreshing. I want to walk hand-in-hand, step-by-step with the Spirit allowing Him to transform me. I long to express His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control with those I see along my path. This is my goal for 2009…Want to join me?