I’m having one of those seasons where I am having to choose the best out of all the good. Responsibilities and realities of life have decided to fill the balloon of time to its maximum capacity. Thank you for continuing to check in. Love to all.
Do What You Know to Do December 28, 2007
The New Year elicits a reflective spirit in me silently demanding an evaluation of the past. As my mind sorts through the events and days, I rejoice over perceived successes. The majority of mental energy, however, is spent on critically analyzing the areas in which my life has missed the mark. I contemplate why it fell short. Were my expectations unrealistic? I do have a tendency toward idealism. Did I fail to focus and work hard enough? Did external circumstances prove to be a hindrance? Typically at this point, disappointment and anger begin to swell in my heart. My temptation is to forget God’s sovereignty and to wallow in a mixture of self-condemnation and self-pity.
I wonder if Joseph felt this way the day he learned that his fiancé was pregnant. Certainly he struggled with anger and disappointment as he entertained the possibilities of who robbed him of the dream of his future filled with the sounds of joy. He knew he did not sleep with Mary, so who did? According to her, she wasn’t unfaithful to him and claimed the Holy Spirit did this to her! How was Joseph to buy that one? Did Mary have that little of respect for his intelligence? Did she honestly think he was a fool?
I imagine Joseph began an intense evaluation process. “What did I do to deserve this? I diligently worked at learning carpentry so I could be an adequate provider. I faithfully attended synagogue and tried my best to live by the Law. I avoided the temptations that others my age gave in to. Where did I go wrong? Is it too much to ask for a faithful wife?”
There are years when we evaluate our lives and cringe at what we see. Never, in our wildest dreams, did we ever expect life to look like this! We dreamed of much more. Our minds struggle for an answer to how we can alter the reality we are in, as it races to create an exhaustive list of solutions. Joseph desired to redeem his horrible circumstances and decided his best course of action was to quietly divorce Mary.
This appeared to be the best option, but often the solution we consider to be most logical does not coincide with God’s plans for us. Once again, we forget God’s sovereignty and attempt to remedy the situation on our own. It is at this juncture that we are forced to make a decision. Will we shift into over-drive, hyperventilate, and force open doors using our own strength? Or will we lay our heads down on the pillow of God’s providence, peacefully resting and trusting that our Heavenly Father will give us the strength and wisdom for our next steps?
Joseph put his head, numbed by reality, on his pillow and fell asleep. During that rest, God revealed to him a beautiful picture of hope for the future. And if we will quiet our hearts, even when we are numbed by our reality, the small, still voice of our Father will echo in our souls. His voice may be heard through His word or prayer or the words of another, or sometimes, even a dream. Tremendous confidence, joy, and peace will flood our hearts as we rest in His presence. But then morning comes. The sun rises and wakes us from our peace. The rooster crows. The cold morning air confronts us as we climb out of the warmth of our bed.
This is when our faith is truly tested. For most of us, the brilliant picture of future hope God paints for us does not happen overnight. Joseph was assured in a dream that Mary’s baby was conceived by the Holy Spirit. He was told this child is to be named Jesus because he will save his people from their sins. Joseph’s heart must have pounded with joy as he heard this amazing and exciting news. Yet when he awakened the next morning, life looked the same. His circumstances had not changed!
What do we do when we awaken morning after morning and, from our perspective, nothing has changed? It is natural to lose hope and begin to question whether we truly ever heard from God. Have you been there? Do you know what that feels like? Are you losing hope? I understand, but let me encourage you. Sometimes God requires those He loves to exert tremendous faith and patience. Determine to fight doubt. You do not serve a God who is absent. He is sovereign and He knows the plan for your life. Do not give up on Him. Trust Him. Do what Joseph did. He “woke up and did what the angel of the Lord commanded him.” Sometimes you simply have to continue doing what you know to do. Eventually it will make sense. It took 33 years for Joseph’s dream to be realized.
As you evaluate your life this year and notice it is full of unanswered prayers and unfulfilled dreams, determine to live like Joseph. Hold on to Jesus. Do what you know to do. And live in expectation of what God is yet to do!
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